EMILY MCNICHOLS
--------
DOLL’S EYES
I
A curious scar in the middle of my back, this is how I would like to mind you. Little piece of glass in my foot. But you are invisible and brand spanking new. I burnt my tongue on hot, hot tea.
II
The body changes every seven years, I know.
But what happens in the ocean in the middle of the night?
III
when we first met you thought I was unreliable
my eyes frightened you
like a doll’s eyes in the dark
IV
the day that you left they filled like two tubs of filthy water
V
And I wrote you postcards in latin
I am living like this now
Lost in place
In the refrains of paperback sleeves
I am living like this now
A packrat
Because your hand writing in the margins...
I am living like this now
--------
ON BEING EMOTIONALLY PRACTICAL
1.
this is about something heavy.
your unsocial hours loosen like a bruise
across the hall morning wobbles in the bathroom
someone is crying into a suitcase
(and you better not steal any of my books)
2.
what you do:
wrap yourself in a turban of someone else's skin
until genitals burn and naked bodies glow like the beach
3.
things he takes:
hitch hikers home and pulled hairs
packages abroad for strangers
a pregnant woman down 23 flights of stair
and each look in your eyes is a small dark room
4.
what you said:
You must stay over here by me.
Come!
OTHERWISE I WILL CUT OFF YOUR EARS
But in your own you sounded like a pathological liar.
5
how it ends:
You do not die. Or attempt to clean anything up.
You go home drunk and rip your jewelry off in the bathroom
--------
WOMAN IN BED FAST ASLEEP- LAUGHING
I get up in dream rubble and dry mouth
The acrid aftertaste of banned words, obsessive in my tongue
I can’t remember dreaming what you said
But I laughed myself out-loud
And alone to the color of my pee
Tonight I will carve something theatrical into the sole of my foot.