TWO WORKS
BY MARK SPITZER
================
NORTH OF NAROPA, RISING WHITE THE EVERSWIRL
I CONTEMPLATE THE WHOLE ORDEAL
SWILLING IN MY HEAD
I
"Yo, what up bro?"
my slacker stoner next door neighbor
utters stumbling through my doorway
"Wanna come over and rippa tuber?"
"Sure," I say, and walk across the lawn with him
in Boulder Colorado where
I write his papers for kindhappy bud
"Got some new organic dankweed!" he tells me
"It's the diggitydank! Hotdiggitydank!"
blubba, blubba, blubba....
we suck long on a two foot bong.
II
my slackerstoner nextdoorneighbor
takes a hit then turns toward me:
"This bud's so sick and twisted, dude!
Let's roll a jibber uvvit! Smoke it all rad
like a conebone and shit! I'm so stoked!
You're gonna get medieval on their ass!
Another A on the way! And that's no cheesedog, brother!
You'll be snooking furburner, dude!
You the Man!"
"Thanks," I tell him
lungsucking further.
III
back at the ranch
my 19 yearold runawaygal
who's manicdepressive
paranoidschizopherenic
and totallydelusional
says to me:
"Can't I please, please
talk to Crispin, please?"
"No!" I tell her
for the fortyfourth time
"There is no Crispin in me!
I am me! Myself! Not
CrispinFuckingSomebody!"
"Fuckme!" she tells me "FuckMeHardNow!"
"No!" I tell her, "take your pills."
but medication never works
I always have to rape her
to make her shut up.
IIII
But really it's not realrape
it is clearly playrape
as she peels her jeans
revealing soft mammal
underneath
as I accept her love
like another bonghit
and then we get wet: bellies and sweat
Slappa, Slappa, Slappa, Slappa
I pull out, squirt
then slide back in.
IIIII
Actually, that's a lie
the truth is
she won't let me
pull out
she
doesn't care about HIV
doesn't care about getting preggie
doesn't care if she's fucked in the head
she'll fuck and fuck until she's dead.
IIIIII
I cross the lawn with a paddlefishpaper
where Jerry and Marley are all over the walls
and all his green is cherry-tailed
and orange with fine white fuzz
(he never has a bag for under a hundred)
"Dude," he tells me, "that chick of yours is psycho!
Totallypsycho!"
"I know," I tell him
and stare into the chamber
like the barrel of a gun
blubba, blubba, blubba,
blub, blub,
blub.
Our Bodies Not Connecting
I Wander Out and into the Night
We'd been kissy-face for quite some time
but only when she got drunk
and we got drunk
frequently
so after five or six
margaritas
it starts up again
"Want to lie down on my bed?" she says
"Sure," I tell her, "let's get it over"
pretty soon
we're grinding and groping
pressing flesh
until out pop
her beautiful breasts
and I'm under the covers
peeling her jeans
then tonguing
her nub
"Stop," she says
about to come
and rising for a rubber
forbidden naked contours
ghost across the room
I don the condom
she grabs my cock
and just as I figured
everything
goes soft
the next thing you know
I'm out on the street
my underwear stuffed in my pocket
no wonder she wanted me
out of her room
a man too drunk to fuck
ain't worth much
so I was worth
even less
but at least my friend
is still my friend
until, that is
we drink again.
================
IT'S A WEIRD TIME IN SPACE
for Melinda and me
when we leave Extreme's
up in the Rockies
after watching the X Files
then staring into the starry night
to witness Hale-Bop
for the very first time
and not only that
there's a Martian eclipse
against the eerie moon
because the sun and the earth
and the planets are in line
and the line is a curve
illuming the arc
of the Universe
so we get in my car
and head for the cliffs
while down in San Diego
39 devotees of the good
Reverend Applegate
ice themselves
to join the soul
of a UFO
hidden in the comet's tail
as a radar blip
appears on screen
and an Air Force pilot
down in the Four Corners
breaks formation
without explanation
flies north toward Vail
then disappears without a trace
loaded with bombs
which is fine with me
because Hollywood
is now TV: I see
actual generals
informing me
everything's under control
and who knows what else
is going on?
as we drive on
and see a bear
chiming along
like a big black dog
then we're there
at my secret mushroom
hunting place
where I know all space
will scintillate
but she's too afraid
to get out of the car:
Agent Mulder was abducted tonight
and bears are paranormal
and so we roll
back down to town
to Boulder USA
where Jon Benet
can't even hold
a torch to the sky.