ERIC SPITZNAGEL has written for a lot of magazines over the past 10 years. Here are some that you may have heard of: Playboy, Spy, Harper's, Might, McSweeney's Internet Tendency, Monkeybicycle, The Nose and Salon.com. He's written four humor books, a few of which are still in print. He's pretty sure that A Guy's Guide To Dating (Doubleday, 1998) is still available at Amazon.com, and he's seen The Junk Food Companion (Plume, 1999) in the occasional used bookstore. He teaches comedy writing at the Second City theater in Chicago and performs with such sketch groups as Marlboro Country and Fancy Ketchup. He's also written several plays which were produced by kind people with access to storefront theaters. His personal favorites were "Nothing Cute Gets Eaten" and "Romeo & Juliet Died For Our Sins," if only because he thinks the titles were kinda clever. He's more afraid of you than you are of him.