DAVID BARATIER
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ASK THE NEW AGE SPIRITUAL FRUITCAKE #1
"I have a person I utterly loathe,
despise and so on. What should I do?"
Chris S. Oakland, CA
If you hate someone, pray every day
they catch fire for 2 weeks. While it's painful
incineration really purifies. For recital,
write your prayer down and speak the same
exact words each day. Always be specific with
your meditations.
"God, please torch
that heathen bastard and have him found
tied up with remnants of silver lemay duct-tape
seared to what is left of his kerosene soaked body
in his lovers Mercedes Benz
in front of their brick two story
ivy covered house at 312 Mohawk Street
near Schiller Park, in Columbus, Ohio,
so Teresa will finally love me and own
all his possessions."
Try this for two weeks.
How do you feel? If your anger
and bitterness have not disappeared
send the revised prayer
along with five thousand,
preferably a money order, although
paypal is accepted, to the care
of this publication.